Montessori parenting - your pathway to a happy, contented family life.

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Over many years I have worked extensively with the families of young children, providing information, practical advice; equipping parents with strategies, skills and knowledge about how to create the best home environment for their child and for the family as a whole.

Again and again parents told me the strategies I taught them worked and understanding more about the developmental needs of their child really helped them to make some changes which made family life more enjoyable for everyone.

The purpose of even better parenting is to help families use the tools of a Montessori-inspired approach to parenting, enabling them to parent with confidence, contentment, creativity and joy.

Using a practical Montessori-inspired approach in your home doesn't require expensive specialist Montessori equipment, nor does it require parental perfection. 

It’s not home schooling, it’s a positive and practical approach to everyday parenting which meets the developmental needs of the child.

Learn more here:

Realistic expectations - Understanding what drives your child

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When adult expectations are realistic and in tune with a child’s developmental drivers it is easy for the child to experience success and enjoy a sense of achievement. It’s also likely they’ll be more cooperative and easier to get along with.

No matter how carefully or how many times you explain it, a young child cannot understand adult values, adult problems or time scales, they can’t, they really really can’t.

Very often this mismatch of expectations and capabilities causes tension and unhappiness for both adult and child.

It doesn't matter to a young child that their parent will be late for work as they’re taking too long to put on their shoes or that spilling juice will ‘ruin’ the carpet or that their brand new top is stained by paint.

The child is intensely driven by a completely different motive, the quest for independence. The young child really does need to put their shoes on themselves and to pour their own drink, feed themselves.

It’s the job of the adult to understand the needs of the child and to work out how the needs of the parent and the child can both be met, most of the time.

From birth the child is powered by their internal timetable, each step along the way is a step toward the goal of independence and self direction. 

Children are absolutely desperate to do things for themselves almost as soon as they grasp the idea of what it is that needs doing.

As adults it's our job to create an environment where the child can, wherever possible, succeed in their ever-growing quest for independence and understanding of the world around them.

Practical ideas to support independence:

"Help me to do it myself" is often used as a short-hand way to describe the Montessori approach to meeting the child’s developmental needs, it’s a practical approach which can be used at home to create pathways toward independence.

As the toddler starts to want to do things for themselves here are some simple things you can do: 

  1. Open shelves at child height with activities categorised and organised with all components needed. These activities are age and interest specific, put away everything that does not fit that criteria.

  2. A child sized table and chair or a Tripp Trapp chair (google it, they're fantastic) so the child can use the dining table.

  3. A step to allow access to the hand-basin / toilet. A hand-towel at the right height.

  4. A learning tower in the kitchen to provide safe access to kitchen benches for easy involvement in the preparation of food.

  5. Child safe kitchen utensils and a child sized chopping board, plus a place to work.

  6. Organising practical storage so the child can access appropriate clothing and shoes.

  7. Purchasing clothing and shoes which make it easy for the child to dress themselves and go to the toilet.

  8. Walk at a pace that allows the young child to explore their surroundings.

  9. Time - allow enough time for the child to be successful and enough time and space for you to observe and really understand what your child is ‘telling’ you.

The more activities the young child can do by themselves for themselves the happier and more content the child will be and so too the parent as life will be much less of a battle.

Children are most content when their developmental needs are met.

What the child cannot do is understand or appreciate adult priorities and time frames, and it’s not their job. Their job is to strive for independence and ever increasing control, and when adults help them to do that everyone is happier.

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The weekend is here and you have an active toddler

The weekend is here, the weather forecast mostly fine (here in Melbourne) and you have an active toddler.

I remembered about an article I read ages ago which listed lots of practical ways for toddlers to use their developing bodies and abundant energy so decided to write short list of my own.

Toddlers love big work!

Here's a taste to inspire you.

Ways that toddlers can exert maximum effort 

Here are a few easy ones -- 

  1. Carrying round a large bag or backpack

  2. Using large foam blocks (the Melbourne Museum Children's Gallery has fantastic large blocks)

  3. Carrying wood

  4. Walking over pillows

  5. Move a bucket or watering can of water

  6. Pushing or carrying a loaded laundry basket

  7. Lift a large(ish) suitcase with some weight in it

  8. Move a piece of furniture

  9. Taking the largest steps possible (stepping stones)

  10. Carrying a large box

  11. Digging and filling a bucket with sand then moving that to a new location .....

I hope you find several ideas which help to make your weekend even more enjoyable for you and your toddler.

You can send me your ideas and photos to my Facebook page

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Have you tried all 28 of these?

Children are most co-operative when their basic developmental needs are being met. They’re happier, calmer, more creative and much easier to get along with.
Here is a series of snapshots showing everyday activities designed to satisfy (some of) the developmental drivers of children from toddlers to 5 year-olds.

You can find out lots more about setting up age-appropriate activities in other blog posts like this one.

I hope you find this helpful, any questions just ask.

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Do parents expect too much?

 Photo by  Senjuti Kundu  on  Unsplash

No matter how carefully or how many times you explain it, the young child cannot understand adult values, adult problems or time scales, they can’t, they really really can’t.

Very often this mismatch of expectations and capabilities causes tension and unhappiness for both adult and child.

It doesn't matter to a young child that their parent will be late for work as they’re taking too long to put on their shoes or that spilling juice will ‘ruin’ the carpet or that their new top will be stained by paint.

The child is intensely driven by a completely different motive, the quest for independence. The young child really does need to put their shoes on themselves and to pour their own drink.

It’s the job of the adult to understand the needs of the child and to work out how the needs of the parent and the child can both be met, most of the time.

From birth the child is powered by their internal timetable, each step along the way is a step toward the goal of independence and self direction. 

Children are absolutely desperate to do things for themselves almost as soon as they grasp the idea of what it is that needs doing.

As adults it's our job to create an environment where the child can, wherever possible, succeed in their ever-growing quest for independence.

Practical ideas to support independence:

"Help me to do it myself" is often used as a short-hand way to describe the Montessori approach to meeting the child’s developmental needs.

Parents can use this practical approach to create practical pathways toward independence.

As the toddler starts to want to do things themselves here are some simple things you can do: 

  1. Open shelves at child height with activities categorised and organised with all components needed. These activities are age and interest specific, put away everything that does not fit that criteria.

  2. A child sized table and chair or a Tripp Trapp chair (google it, they're fantastic) so the child can use the dining table.

  3. A step to allow access to the hand-basin / toilet. A hand-towel at the right height.

  4. A learning tower in the kitchen to provide safe access to kitchen benches for easy involvement in the preparation of food.

  5. Child safe kitchen utensils and a child sized chopping board, plus a place to work.

  6. Organising practical storage so the child can access appropriate clothing and shoes.

  7. Purchasing clothing and shoes which make it easy for the child to dress themselves and go to the toilet.

  8. Walk at a pace that allows the young child to explore their surroundings.

The more activities the young child can do by themselves for themselves the happier and more content the child will be and so too the parent as life will be much less of a battle.

Children are most content when their developmental needs are met.

What the child cannot do is understand or appreciate adult priorities and time frames, and it’s not their job. Their job is to strive for independence and ever increasing control, and when adults help them to do that everyone is happier.

Don’t forget to register your email so you can get helpful posts like this straight to your inbox, no searching required.

 

Get real! Do parents expect too much?

 Photo by  Senjuti Kundu  on  Unsplash

No matter how carefully or how many times you explain it, the young child cannot understand adult values, adult problems or time scales, they can’t, they really really can’t.

Very often this mismatch of expectations and capabilities causes tension and unhappiness for both adult and child.

It doesn't matter to a young child that their parent will be late for work as they’re taking too long to put on their shoes or that spilling juice will ‘ruin’ the carpet or that their new top will be stained by paint.

The child is intensely drive by a completely different motivation, the quest for independence. The young child really does need to put their shoes on themselves and to pour their own drink.

It’s the job of the adult to understand the needs of the child and to work out how the needs of the parent and the child can both be met, most of the time.

From birth the child is powered by their internal timetable, each step along the way is a step toward the goal of independence and self direction. 

Children are absolutely desperate to do things for themselves almost as soon as they grasp the idea of what it is that needs doing.

As adults it's our job to create an environment where the child can, wherever possible, succeed in their ever-growing quest for independence.

Practical ideas to support independence:

"Help me to do it myself" is often used as a short-hand way to describe the Montessori approach to meeting the child’s developmental needs.

Parents can use this practical approach to create practical pathways toward independence for their young child. 

As the toddler starts to want to do things themselves here are some simple changes you can easily make: 

  1. Open shelves at child height with activities categorised and organised with all components needed. These activities are age and interest specific.

  2. A child sized table and chair or a Tripp Trapp chair (google it, they're fantastic) so the child can use the dining table.

  3. A step to allow access to the hand-basin / toilet. A hand-towel at the right height.

  4. A learning tower in the kitchen to provide safe access to kitchen benches for easy involvement in the preparation of food.

  5. Child safe kitchen utensils and a child sized chopping board, plus a place to work.

  6. Organising practical storage so the child can access appropriate clothing and shoes.

  7. Purchasing clothing and shoes which make it easy for the child to dress themselves and go to the toilet.

  8. Walk at a pace that allows the young child to explore their surroundings.

The more activities the young child can do by themselves for themselves the happier and more content the child will be and so too the parent as life will be much less of a battle.

Children are most content when their developmental needs are met.

What the child cannot do is understand or appreciate adult priorities and time frames, and it’s not their job. Their job is to strive for independence and ever increasing control, and when adults help them to do that everyone is happier.

Don’t forget to register your email so you can get helpful posts like this straight to your inbox, no searching required.

 

No-one flourishes on the family battleground

 Photo by  Arwan Sutanto  on  Unsplash

Understanding what drives your child is the first important step toward finding peaceful solutions to family conflicts.

The young child is not deliberately trying to annoy their parents though it can sometimes feel like that. The child is trying to satisfy their needs with what they have around them.

Young children have an innate pattern of development and are driven by that, they can’t change it, we can’t change it.

What parents can do is learn how to understand it and how to cater for it in positive ways.
For support understanding more about how to best meet the needs of young children head over to the blog page or contact Paulene.

When the developmental needs of children are met, the home takes on a different atmosphere, stress is reduced and it becomes a calmer, happier place and who wouldn’t love that! 

Which changes are the most important?

Identify the most common ‘hot spots’, the points of conflict which occur again and again. Look for patterns.

Once you see the patterns you can begin to assess what’s behind the conflict and look for practical solutions.

What is the child asking for through their behaviour, what need are they trying to satisfy, can you together find a practical solution?

To understand children’s stages of development parents sometimes need some outside support.

Parents who’d like more information about ways to meet the developmental needs of children in the early years can contact me.

I set up even better parenting to support parents in their parenting.

Early childhood is so very important as the child’s brain is being built day by day, experience by experience. Early learning shapes the child’s brain and provides the foundation for all that follows.
Let’s make sure the foundation is as solid as possible.

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